Game of Thrones 5.07: "The Gift"

I know this may seem like an awful dedication, but when I watched this episode, this is exactly what I thought about Stannis.

This week's dedication:
Lord Stannis Baratheon

Stannis got his sexy back, and he told Mel to f-off, regarding the burning of Shireen.

The North

Stannis
Stannis, Davos and Mel

Davos has done a tour of the camp, and discovered that things are not going to plan. The 500 sellswords have left and more horses are dying from the cold. They are also low on supplies and it won't stop snowing.

He advises Stannis to retreat to Castle Black, and wait out the winter. But Stannis states the obvious regarding the arrival of winter, and they have no idea how long it will last. He says they either go big or go home, but not back, because he will never be known as "The king who ran".

Davos sees Mel lurking in the background, and you can tell that he not only feels uncomfortable, but he is worried. He excuses himself, and Stannis is angry with Mel. He reminds me of S2 Stannis when he questioned Mel's visions, after losing The Battle of The Blackwater, and that he had killed his brother for nothing. She reminds him of how she showed him winning the great battle in the snow, and that she sees herself walking on the ramparts of Winterfell, as the Bolton flags are being lowered. However, she is most likely seeing herself AFTER, Jon takes back Winterfell.  The Batttle of Ice has not begun at the end of ADWD, but it seems as if the show might be moving in this direction. 

Stannis tries to make out with Mel, but she turns him away, does this:

and with great passion, says that another sacrifice must be made, and thus more king's blood. Stannis is still po'ed that she turned him down, and after this news, he is very unhappy.  Mel, who realizes that she's slowly losing credibility each day it keeps snowing, recounts the tale of how the Lord of Light has made good on their previous sacrifices.  Stannis says there are no more people left to kill, and perhaps more leeches?  Mel says no, and implies that there is one person who has king's blood. Stannis looks at her with disgust, and asks her if she has completely lost her mind, and kicks her out.

I am not sacrificing my daughter, get out.

I thought, finally! Crazy Selyse is gong to give Shireen to Mel, Stannis will kill his lady wife for it, and Mel will be forced to flee to the Wall. 

The Wall
Jon

Your wildest fantasy just came true:
The Wall is yours Ser Alliser

Jon is preparing to leave for Hardhome with Tormund, and ten brothers of the NW.  Dolores Edd is included with this group, because in the end, his loyalty will always lie with Jon. Jon also gives Alliser the Wall and he in turn, tells Jon that this is the worse idea ever.  Jon says thanks for your honesty, and I'll keep that in mind while I try save the world from eternal darkness. 

Jon hugs Sam, most likely thinking
that this could be the last time he sees his friend. 

Jon says good-bye to Sam, who gives him the bag of dragonglass, so we are definitely seeing some White Walker action in 5.08.  The  members of the NW give him dirty looks, and bratty  "I am going to kill the Lord Commander", Olly, looks away, as Jon smiles at him.

Bratty Olly, who is in desperate need of
an attitude adjustment.

Sam
Sam, Gilly and Maester Aemon

"Egg, I dreamed I was old"

Gilly and little Sam (why does this child never grow old and Myrcella has been in Dorne for years?), and Sam are sitting beside Maester Aemon. He is dying and calling his brother's name (Aegon V), as he leaves this world. Gilly tells Sam to go to bed, but fortunately he stays, and Maester Aemon says "Egg, I dreamed I was old", and passes away. Sam is devastated, as he has lost a mentor, and a father figure. 

The next time we see Sam, he is doing the eulogy for Maester Aemon, and saying farewell to Maester Aemon:

"He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch has ended.", as they burn his body (also a ritual of the Targaryens). 

The day wouldn't be complete, if Ser Alliser didn't threaten Sam. Jon's not there to protect him anymore so he'd better watch his back. Foreshadowing anyone? 

The Fight
Gilly is washing laundry when two of the brothers walk in, and attack her. Gilly does pretty well against two men, but she is almost raped, when Sam shows up. Oh, Sam, I really hope that he loses weight for S6, as Book Sam does in the books, on the way to Oldtown via ship. Sam grabs a sword, and literally gets the crap beaten out of him. It was painful to watch, it was so brutal, but guess who shows up? Ghost! He remains confused that Sam is Jon, but I'll give him a pass, because Jon is on a boat. 

Ghost! You're still confused,
but at least you saved Jon's BFF.

So, he saves the day, and poor Sam is all bloody from being beaten on the floor. Gilly manages to get him to bed,where she treats his wounds, and Sam loses his virginity! 

Winterfell
Sansa
I am gong to make this brief, because it adds just one more reason why turning Sansa into Jeyne Poole was a bad idea. So, Sansa has been locked in her room, and at Ramsay's mercy, when Theon walks in with some food. Sansa is desperate, and begs him to help her, and if he had any love for her family, please help her, and put the candle in the tower. She keeps telling him that he is Theon Greyjoy, and not Reek, but to no avail. 

You are Theon Greyjoy,
of House Greyjoy, not Reek!!!

Theon always begs Sansa to call him Reek, and to never make Ramsay angry. He takes the candle, and we see this compilation of scenes where you think Theon is running up the stairs to light the candle, but and he ends up in Ramsay's room. 

We then see Brienne as she faithfully continues to watch for the candle.  

Sansa and Ramsay

Ramsay allows Sansa to leave the prison of his making, and we see them walking along the ramparts.  Sansa grabs this tool that looks like a combo of a corkscrew and a screwdriver, and puts it in her cloak. Ramsay speaks of how she is his lady wife, and he speaks of how snow is just fine for northerners and Stannis is becoming weaker as the snow keeps falling. He prattles on about how she will be his lady, when he becomes Warden of the North, since he's the first born son of Roose Bolton. Sansa has a small spark within, and reminds him that his stepmom is pregnant, and a true born son, trumps a bastard as the heir. Ramsay says that King Tommen changed his status as bastard to true born son, and Sansa reminds him that Tommen is also a bastard. She's pushing her luck, but then he mentions that bastards can be successful in life! Your bastard brother Jon Snow is Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. Sansa looks slightly hopeful, because she always cared so much about Jon. Whatever. 

They finally walk down from the ramparts, and Sansa sees the old servant woman skinned and lying upside down in the yard. Ramsay says that he had forgotten, this was why they had taken this little walk. He says some disgusting things about how the woman died before she could confess anything to him. He takes out the candlestick and asks why would Sansa ever want to leave her home? Poor Sansa is taken away, as she realizes that her nightmare is becoming worse as each day passes. 

Let's leave and go to where?

Dorne
I need to stop saying that this is unbearable every time I write about it, so this will be the last time. 
Jaime

Jaime, shocked that Myrcella is having a tantrum

 I live here now!
Trystane is my boyfriend,
and I'm going to marry him. 

Myrcella stomps into Jaime's prison, and has a temper tantrum, because she's a teenager in love, and hates her mother. Jaime, who has never encountered a hormonal teenager, has no idea what is going on, and says that he's come to take her home. He says that her mother misses her, and she's in danger, because threats were made regarding her safety. Myrcella says that mom sent her there, and now Dorne is her home, and she will marry Trystane, and no, Uncle Jaime, you did not hurt him in that pathetic fight. She was being a brat, but Myrcella is telling the truth: they sent her away to live in Dorne, (Tyrion did and it was smart move, and per Oberyn, she was happy there), she did as they asked, it is now her home, she's in love, and not going anywhere. She turns and stomps out of the room, leaving Jaime in shock, because he forgot to think about the reasoning behind crazy Cersei's request. She leaves chaos in her wake, and this move, as previously stated by Lady Olenna, reveals that she has no clue what it means to have an alliance, and the consequences of breaking it. 

Bronn and The Sand Snakes
I HATED this scene, because it was a culmination of everything that is wrong with this storyline. Why? 
Did I need to watch Tyene, slowly strip herself naked, so the poison would kill Bronn faster?  
Listen to her repeatedly asking Bronn if she was the most beautiful woman in the world? 
Thus forcing him to say yes, so that she would give him the anecdote? NO.

Let's get out of this mess and and go to Meereen. 

Meereen

Dany
Dany and Daario
They are having pillow talk regarding Dany's upcoming nuptials and next steps for stopping the Sons of the Harpy.  Dany is acting chaste, and Daario gives surprisingly good advice, as he gives it to her straight:

Daario: You're marrying that fool Hizdahr? You realize that the killing has stopped because he is one  of The Sons of the Harpy. Just round the masters up and kill them during The Great Games.

Dany: I am not a mass murderer!  I only crucified most of the Master's and fed just one, to the dragons. 

Daario: You're the queen, and clearly have no problem burning and killing people, so why not do this? Even better, let  Drogon to do it and marry me!

Dany: I can't marry you because I have to marry Hizdahr to keep the peace. I don't know where Drogon is, and I can't free my other the boys because they will start eating kids again. 

Daario: Fine, but  I'm getting restless and need to kill someone, and Hizdahr is at the top of my list. 

Daario also says something, which I found quite compelling.  He says that everyone has a choice, even slaves who can remain one, or choose to die. This doesn't seem like a choice to me, but it reminds us that this is a society, that does not place a high price on the value of a human life.


Dany, Hizdahr, Tyrion, and Ser Jorah

Tyrion and Ser Jorah

Tyrion and Jorah have been bought by slavers who are going to Meereen. Jorah managed to get them to buy Tyrion as well, because they were not planning on taking both of them. However, Jorah doesn't understand how they can go to Meereen why slavery is against the law? Their new owner says "Of course there are no slaves in Meereen, but the Great Games are taking place by order of the queen."
Jorah is shocked, but thinks this might be away to get close to Dany and earn her forgiveness. 

It's time....I can win back her trust

The next time we see them they are at the practice ground for the supposed freedmen waiting to perform in The Great Games for Dany. Jorah hears that Dany is there to watch with Hizdahr, and immediately decides that he needs to go out and do some killing so she will notice him. The most unusual part is: 

a) Jorah suddenly became some kind of killing machine.

I'm free!

b)Tyrion is freed by an unknown very tall, large man. 

Dany and Hizdahr

Dany annoyed that she has
to watch gladiator practice

Dany has to visit all of the practice yards with Hizdahr, which is apparently tradition. Dany is horrified at this tradition, because as usual she is the biggest hypocrite ever. 

Dany forgetting, yet again,
that she just fed someone to her kids

Dany: Why am I wasting my time sitting on these dirty benches with you?

Hizdahr: It is tradition my Queen, to honor the those who will be fighting at The Great Games.

Dany: But watching men fight to the death, is so upsetting! I am not a brutal queen, even though I just remembered that I ordered Drogon to burn the slave owner in Astapor.

I refuse to remain and support your "tradition"

Suddenly, guess who comes out fighting like a badass, Ser Jorah! We all know Dany gets turned on by hot men killing for her:

Dany, totally turned on,
and thinking she is not going anywhere

But then when she's practically breathless with excitement, she sees this:

And is immediately disgusted, and wants him out of her sight, until he says that he has brought her a gift! No, the title of this episode does not refer to the book version of "The Gift", but to Tyrion Lannister.

Jorah's "gift" to his beloved Dany:
Tyrion Lannister

Kings Landing

Lady Olenna 
Lady Olenna vs The High Sparrow

Lady Olenna pays a visit to the High Sparrow, who is in his usual garb of potato sack and bare feet, so she thinks that he is a servant. The High Sparrow, reveals himself and per usual we here his mantra, that we are all equal in the eyes of the Seven and he is but the humble servant of The Seven, blah, blah....  Lady Olenna, being the badass of all grandmothers, tells him to cut the crap, because she knows that he's Cersei's creature, and to free her grandkids ASAP.  He says that Loras has committed perjury, and is accused of "buggery", and Margaery also perjured herself during the Inquest, so it's a no go.  She says that she will stop sending food to Kings Landing, and he says go for it, servants of the gods don't need such things as food. He also asks her this ridiculous question about whether she has ever worked in the fields and gathered her own food. He says, what is supposed to be a veiled threat,  "you are the few, and we are the many", and Lady Olenna gives him a wtf? look. He is  implying that the people will rise up against the aristocracy, which is presently not feasible for all of Westeros, but definitely possible for Kings Landing. 

How could this be true?  We all know that Kings Landing is filled with people who are starving, angry, and hate the crown. It is ripe for a leader who provides answers for, and relief from their suffering. It's the standard formula for the rise of a religious fanatic, or dictator to rise to power. We see this over and over in our own history, and Kings Landing is no different. 

Lady Olenna, being no fool, quickly realizes what has happened as the result of Cersei's stupidity.  She did not think Cersei would be this crazy, and actually give power to The Faith Militant. She knows that she has been outplayed, and lost the battle. But this is Lady Olenna, and the next time we see her, she is meeting with her former partner in crime, Littlefinger!

Well, that didn't go as planned,
so it's time for a Plan B.

Lady Olenna: 0
The High Sparrow: 1

Lady Olenna and Littlefinger

The meeting at the now, destroyed brothel.

It's time for some scheming between the two people, who killed Joffrey. Littlefinger has planned a secret meeting between the two, and Lady Olenna is not pleased with the locale. He states that he has no designs on House Tyrell, and Lady Olenna is like,whatever, just remember that together, we killed the king. Naturally, she wants to know why they are meeting, because we know that she needs a plan B.  Littlefinger says " I am giving you a gift, the same one that I gave Cersei." What is this mysterious gift, or more accurately, who? "A handsome young man", who could be Olyver, as he was the manager of his brothel. But this is off book, so it may even be Tommen, who is devastated by the arrest of Margaery, and ripe for some manipulation. We know that the gift to Cersei, was Sansa, which wasn't really "a gift".  We won't know the answer until S6, as this is the last time we see them this season. 

Cersei
Cersei and Tommen

Well, it looks like teen angst is all the rage this episode, because we find Cersei trying to comfort, a lovesick Tommen, who refuses to eat.  He may be a  teenager, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he is devastated, and frustrated because he can not free Margaery.  He doesn't understand why he is the king, and can't help her, and even screams some of Cersei's famous lines about burning everything to the ground.  

Poor Tommen, if he only knew that the reason he is so helpless, is because of mommy dearest.  Sadly, if Cersei had allowed him to learn how to be the king, it would have protected him, and this could have been a different conversation. King Tywin had started his training because he was still a blank slate, unlike King Sociopath. 

HBO Cersei, who is more of a sympathetic character than Book Cersei, is genuinely upset that her actions have deeply hurt Tommen. She was so intent on removing the Tyrell's, that she forgot that he is a teenager, not a child, like Book Tommen, and thus not completely clueless.  She tells him that she will manage The High Sparrow on his behalf, and everything that she has ever done is for him. Tommen knows this is the truth, but it won't save Margaery. 

Cersei and Margaery

Cersei is taking a victory lap and pays Margaery a visit, with some of last night's dinner. She swears that she has spoken with Tommen, and they are trying to have her released from prison. Margaery is spitting venom and I am loving it, and also wishing that she had a POV chapter, because she loses her cool a few times, before this scene. 

She screams at Cersei that she knows that she has done this to her, because she can't let Tommen go. Cersei tells her that soon all of this will end, and leaves as Margaery screams, a line straight from the book: 

"Get out you hateful bitch!"

Cersei skips happily out of Margaery's cell and down the hallway, to pay a visit to The High Sparrow, and discuss Margaery's trial.

I WIN.

Not so fast Cersei.....

Cersei and The High Septon
Cersei goes to see the High Sparrow to discuss Margaery's trial, and how it will proceed. He sets up the meeting in the oldest part of the Sept, and states that the trial will be as they were prior to the arrival of the Targaryens, ie. he will be one of the judges. We learn that if she confesses to her sins, it will be "Mother's Mercy", meaning that her punishment will depend upon her crimes. 

Suddenly, he begins telling the story of why they have met in this old, bare, simple part of the sept, as compared to the atrocity of the golden Sept of Baelor. It turns into a metaphor, because he says how when you strip away all of the finery, and ornaments, ie. like the Tyrell's, their true selves are revealed to the world. He is basically saying that he is going to take away the power of the wealthy and take them down in front of a very receptive audience, ie. the common people.  

The conversation is starting to take a turn, and Cersei stills has a smug look on her face, as she begins to slowly see that something is awry. He wonders who Cersei would be without all of the trappings of her station in life, and references a tortured young man who had come to him.

What is he talking about?

This young man confessed his sins, and now he feels free as a bird, and can run around spreading mayhem in the name of The Seven. And guess who appears out of the dark, Lancel! 

CHECKMATE.

Cersei tries to run out of the room, and is grabbed by some very strong Septas, and thrown into a cell. She is screaming that she is the queen, and sounds a lot like Margaery when she was hauled off to her cell. They throw her into a cell, and she tells them to remember her face, as it will be the last thing they see before they die. 

Well done Cersei, it was the High Sparrow playing you this entire time, and you fell right into his trap. 

See you for 5.08!  



All images and quotes are owned by HBO, "Game of Thrones" 5.07