The Borgias: 1.08 "The Art of War"

So, as mentioned earlier, "The Art of War" has been dedicated to Lucrezia Borgia, and Giulia Farneze, as they were spectacular this week. I would say the episode was definitely my least favorite, except for the exceptional moments by these two beguiling, and beautiful women.

Let's begin:
So Giulia gets Lucrezia safely out of the Sforza mansion. I am loving her, and I hope to see more of her next season.  But she does stop by Paolo's place, to inform him that they will need two horses, saddled and ready to go before first light. She also informs him that she will have him whipped and hanged, if he tells anyone he has been sleeping with Lucrezia. Naturally, he is smitten with Lucrezia, so he swears to do as she asks.

At first light, she and Lucrezia, all beautifully dressed, particularly Lucrezia, leave for Rome. I like how they have changed her costumes to show her increased wealth, by the luxurious fur lined and deeply colored silks and brocades she has begun to wear. As they ride, Giulia says she must take care due to her condition, but I have to say that Lucrezia does not seem to care all that  much. They also have a bit of girl talk as Giulia wants to know everything about Paolo, and Lucrezia is just like, oh you mean Narcissus?

Girl talk on the way to Rome

Oh! They also get picked up by the French, who decided to take them under their protection. Afterall, they are going in the same direction, how chivalrous! 

Well, good things are not happening for Paolo, as he is getting whipped to death by Sforza wanting to know where the ladies have gone.  I am sure he kills him, as I know there is a certain number of whippings that kill a person. Paolo ever the loyal lover, refuses to tell, and even says that Lucrezia could not wait to get away from him.  Poor Paolo, I do not even think he even understood that his feelings and Lucrezia's were not on the same level. 

Cesare and Papa B.
Things are looking very, very, very bad in Rome. Papa B knows that things are bad, and tries to make a deal with the Spanish Ambassador regarding the fact that King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella were given full "Catholic" rights over their country. But the ambassador refuses, as he knows that any move against the French will be an act of war; a war they do not want or need. So, Papa B sends Cesare to go find his brother at the local brothel. I guess Sancia wasn't available this week. So Cesare informs Juan, that he knows that he disapproves of lechery, debauchery and drunkeness.  I was surprised to hear this, as where was Cesare getting his women all this time? You know the ones that Lucrezia always saw him with?

Moving on:  the pompous, idiot Juan, thinks he can actually lead an army.  So, it seems they have many weapons, such as swords etc., but as we know and Cesare asks, they do not have any of the conventional and modern weapons of war, ie. cannons. PS and btw, Juan had apparently not even heard of such things, nor had his first in command. His first in command actually seems like a real soldier, but I do not know that for a fact.

Cesare, per his father's request, and against his will, supports his father's position to the College of Cardinals. What is this position? To remain in the Vatican, and support the Papacy.  Cesare, lies through his teeth, for his father, and the Cardinals are like whatever, we know we are soo screwed. Everyone else in Italy is jumping ship and/or joining with the French.

But, alas, after all of his beseeching, Papa B. does not succeed in keeping the Cardinals in town. Why should he? Most of them do not seem to like him very much, they are old, most of their votes had been bought, and well for some reason VC Sforza does not seem to think that he is leaving.  The Cardinals are all sitting there listening to Papa B say how they must remain steadfast in their cause and remain in Rome. Poor Cesare, he just sits there, looking like he wants to run as he knows this is a bunch of BS.

When we next see Papa B and the leaders of the Papal Armies. Since we are talking strategy, Cesare is in his hot Prince outfit. Yeah! and sadly listening to, and basically rolling his eyes listening to the crap coming out of his brother's mouth.

Someone please shut him up! We are soooo dead. 

Juan has decided that cannon can not be used against people! Only against walls; yes he is really that dumb. Papa B, is not that dumb, but he has no choice but to believe in something, and so he praises his son. Does he have a choice? At this juncture no.

So, then we see Juan and the soldiers preening and strutting through the streets of Rome as they are cheered by adoring crowds.  Cesare, still in sexy Prince gear, now with hat! Stands with Micheletto watching them leave, both knowing, they are doomed.

Back to Giulia and Lucrezia:
Charles is informed by his General that they have two hostages! He is washing his face, as he discovers that one of them is the mistress of the Pope. Charles cannot believe the Pope has a mistress!  But then he looks at his reflection and says:

How come I do not have a mistress? I want one too. 

Lucrezia and Giulia are awaiting their fate as hostages of the French, when Lucrezia says that they are "uniquely positioned" to work in her father's favor.  Giulia is surprised and pleased, as this means that Lucrezia has learned to use her beauty and wit. Della Rovere stops by and asks the ladies to attend dinner with Charles. They are both gracious, and Lucrezia does some minor manipulation of words as she accepts her invitation. Della Rovere is starting to look a bit nervous. 

So, dinner turns into the Lucrezia, Giulia show! Those girls really work it and work it good. Giulia starts, and then Lucrezia decides to read the Kings fortune in his cups. She tells him how her mother was the most beautiful courtesan in all of Rome. She is clever, romanticizing what Sforza and others have found so "unseemly" about the Borgia children.  Here they are working their elegant magic: 

Charles is so taken by her charm,  that he decides that he will show Lucrezia and Giulia all of his artillery. She asks the right questions, and seems so interested in all of his accomplishments in weaponry and war. Charles says that he has learned a great deal in all of their wars with the English. Then, he says he will do a demonstration of his new favorite toy, the double chained cannon ball on the Papal armies.

Lucrezia sees the army and her brother as she and Giulia are asked to close their ears to the sound of cannon.  It is a gruesome site, as those double cannons make a grotesque amount of carnage. Lucrezia starts to become a bit hysterical as she sees her brother at the head of the papal armies. Her voice actually becomes shrill, and she asks Charles if he could wait just a moment, as she was correct the cannons were too loud for her. Suddenly, she rides her horse ACROSS the battlefield to warn her brother.

Juan is freaking out as he knows he is outnumbered. Suddenly, he sees it is his sister coming towards him. She tells her brother to give up, and he gives the whole, I will not surrender bit. Lucrezia simply says "do not be a fool, as you have not seen the rest of their weapons, it is over."  She says "call it common sense, and we will offer terms." Juan says they will sack Rome and depose their father.  But the fabulous Lucrezia says, "leave that to me."  So, she rides back, and says that the Papal troops are turning around and returning to Rome. She knows that Charles is an honorable man, and that he would not lower himself to sack Rome as the Huns, and Goths once did. He is not a barbarian, but a gentleman and an honorable man? He is just staring at her, in shock? wonder? Well, she says we will grant you safe passage to Naples, as she waves her arms out and says Rome welcomes you! Very a la Machiavelli in Florence, well done, well done. We see the papal armies turning around.

Rome
Moving on: everyone in Rome knows that the French are coming, and many people have fled Rome. Many of the Cardinals are thinking that they would like to do the same; I believe they are going to go to Ostia.

Cesare and Micheletto are still watching the armies, and see in fact that Juan and the army have returned without prisoners.  Cesare looks upset and asks Micheletto how this army looks, and he says one in retreat, which is why there are no prisoners. Cesare goes inside to see his father, and gets all crazy about Lucrezia being a prisoner of the French.  Papa B says that he knows this is his fault, but he has been a blind father, and Cesare was right about Juan all along. Cesare says he will stay with Papa B. at the Vatican. So Juan shows up as they are sitting together , comforting each other. But, Papa B sends him to Ostia with the Papal Armies, as a guard for his mother and brother. He does not want to go, but he says get out.

So, then Cesare, still in his sexy Prince uniform, runs off to the convent to see Sister Martha. She calls him by his first name, and Cesare is so excited! She says that she will have to count on Jesus for his protection.  But, he wants them to at least have guards at the gates, and she says fine and leaves. May we never see her again.

Now, in a final, and brilliant move, Papa B., decides to wear his former confessors Friar outfit. He wants to look like a simple priest, without the trappings of wealth and just bathed in his faith. Brilliant strategy! And so the episode ends.

So, until next week! It will be the final episode of the season, and it looks to be a good one.

For all of the Borgia recaps (when LJ is working) go to: http://koft2009.livejournal.com tag: tv: the borgias s.1

*Images and Quotes courtesy of Showtime's "The Borgias"