Game of Thrones 5.06: "Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken"

Honestly we have reached the half way point, and I am finding it more and more difficult to find a dedication. I love making dedications, because it's part of the fun of writing these recaps, however, I am not at a loss quite yet.

This weeks dedication:
Cersei Lannister
Who has deluded herself into thinking that she is the true heir of her lord father.

Keep telling yourself that Cersei, because you just handed your city to a religious zealot.

Let's get into it.

Braavos
Arya 

Arya washing one of the those, who found death at
The House of Black and White

We find our girl washing yet another body, and she is becoming quite the expert, and very impatient.
The men come to take away the body and go through the back door. Our girl, being most curious, tries to go through it, and follow them. However the waif is standing and waiting for her. Arya is sick of washing bodies and demands that she begin next steps of her training.

The waif, in order to prove a point, tells her a story about her past and why she is at The House of Black and White. It is the same story from the book, and it brings to mind the fairy tale, Cinderella; yeah, no joke. She lived in Westeros, and was the daughter of a great lord. Her mother died, and her stepmother had a daughter. She did not want any competition from her new husband's daughter, so she tried to poison her. Book waif is consistently poisoned, and is abnormally small as a result of this, unlike the HBO waif. However, she discovered that her stepmother was attempting to poison her, so she went to the Faceless Men. Her father is widowed once again, and she came to The House of Black and White. The waif demands to know if she believed her story. Arya, who looks very sad, is speechless for the first time ever, and the waif tells her to go back to washing bodies.

We haven't seen this in a long time, have we?

Who are you?
Our girl is blissfully sleeping when she hears "Who are you?", spoken by Jaqen.  He is standing at her bedroom door with the switch in his hand.  He asks her questions about her journey to the House of Black and White. She lies both purposefully, and unknowingly, until she has blood on her face. She refuses to play the game, and he replies "We never stop playing", and leaves an angry Arya in her room.

I always found this game fascinating, because sometimes you are lying to yourself, and you don't even know it, ie. Arya discovers that she does not hate the Hound. One must free oneself from any secrets that tie you to the person you once were, so you can truly become no one.

The Test
Arya is cleaning the temple when a man arrives with his daughter. He places her beside the pool of poison, and says that his child is suffering, and he is unable to ease it. Arya sees a chance to finally become an effective liar, and sits beside the girl.

Our girl skillfully lies to this child about why she should drink the water from the pool. She tells her a story, which has just a drop of truth. She feeds the cup to the girl, who drinks, not knowing that she will die, and quietly passes away. Jaqen is watching her from the sidelines, and we know that it was a job well done.

The Hall of Faces

Arya is gently washing her body, and Jaqen shows up at the door. He says nothing, but starts walking underground, until we get to the Hall of Faces!! It is much larger than I had envisioned in the books, but it is amazing nonetheless.

Now we know where all those dead people have been going, and so does Arya. Jaqen informs her that "the girl is not ready to be no one, but she is ready to be someone else." Oh yeah, our girl has her first mission!

Essos
Tyrion and Ser Jorah

Tyrion and Ser Jorah are traveling along the coast, and have decided to take a break. Ser Jorah checks the status of his greysale, and Tyrion is hungry and bored. He complains about eating berries and twigs, but hey Ser Jorah has no problem eating them. They start sharing, and Jorah learns more about why Tyrion was in Volantis, and unfortunately Jorah learns of his father's death. Tyrion is genuinely sorry, and they continue on their way. 

We see them walking somewhere that is absolutely gorgeous, by the sea, and Tyrion asks Jorah about Dany. Tyrion, being Tyrion, asks some very insightful questions regarding his support for her, since the Mormont's fought against the Targaryen's during the Rebellion. Jorah has the usual responses about her being the rightful heir, and the most important one, that he watched her walk into a funeral pyre, and survive with three baby dragons. Tyrion points out that Dany has never been to Westeros, and the Targaryen's have a reputation for being insane. He also adds that the last Targaryen of recent memory was the Mad King, and he burned people for fun.

Enslaved

Tyrion and Jorah caught by slavers

Tyrion and Jorah are surprised by slavers, and are taken captive. Jorah says that slavery has been outlawed by Queen Dany, but not in Volantis! Volantis was the place, where, if you recall, a red priestess stared Tyrion down (for no apparent reason), and was preaching that crazy Dany would free them all. 

The slavers beat up Jorah, and decide to kill Tyrion, and sell his cock to a "cock merchant".  However, Tyrion persuades them that a fresh cock, is better than a dried one, so the slavers decide that he can remain amongst the living. He also tells them that Jorah is the greatest warrior in Westeros, and that he had even unseated the Rockstar of Westeros, Jaime Lannister. The slavers were not impressed until Jorah says that he killed Qotho, Bloodrider to Khal Drogo, and he will make millions, if they put him in the fighting pit. Jorah's dream has finally come true, they are off to Meereen!

Dorne
I want to forget this storyline ever existed, because it is so disappointing. I was looking forward to seeing Lady Nym on screen, and what a mess, because I have no idea who made the decision, to remove the HEIR to Dorne, Arianne. She is an amazing character, and powerful woman, and close with her cousins, the Sand Snakes. Ellaria could have easily been phased out, as Book Ellaria was a woman of peace; but I digress. I will save my additional thoughts for the end of the season.

This scene was such a disaster, and turned this into the worse episode of the season, only to be made worse by the final scene.

Jaime and Bronn
I stil have trouble with this twosome because I miss Book Jaime, and it remains profoundly disappointing that they have changed him. 

So, we begin with Bronn singing "The Dornishman's Wife", which is quite amazing, and there is beautiful tall grass, and the sea, behind them. They are on their way, without a plan per Jaime, to go pluck Myrcella from the evil Doran, but it's actually the annoying Ellaria and the Sand Snakes.

They eventually arrive at the beautiful Water Gardens and guess what! Myrcella and Trystane are making out, just like teenagers often do. Bronn, says that she hardly looks like a prisoner, and suddenly Jaime's plan becomes even more ridiculous.  Things just go downhill from there...but let's take a look at how cute our teens are:

Myrcella and Trystane

meanwhile.....
Prince Doran and Areo Hotah

Prince Doran is looking down at Myrcella and Trystane, and remarking on the fact that their two houses are making an alliance.  He notes that Areo Hotah has not used his axe in recent days, ie. foreshadowing that he knows something is going to go down. 

Ellaria and The Sand Snakes

They are ready to implement their big secret plan to kill Myrcella, and my ears cringe as they say the words of House Martell. 

The Fight
As Myrcella says "Uncle Jaime?", and wondering why the hell her Uncle, I mean father, is in disguise in the Water Gardens. 

What are you doing here?
I'm making out with my boyfriend.

Trystane is about to say something, when guess what? The Sand Snakes show up, and the worse fight in the history of fights takes place, and it is stopped by the great Areo Hotah. Doran is not as clueless as he looks, is he? Luckily, Myrcella and Trystane are saved by him, and Bronn is nicked by Tyrene's poisoned dagger. Oh, and Ellaria and the Sand Snakes are arrested.

Let's leave this mess, and go to another, but far more interesting one.

Kings Landing

Margaery
The Lady Olenna has arrived in Kings Landing! Margaery called in the big guns so they can rescue Loras from being imprisoned by the High Septon.

They are strolling through the palace discussing the fact that Cersei, who is now completely delusional, arrested her brother.  They are both confident that Lady Olenna can reason with Cersei, but as we will see, it does not work.

Cersei
Cersei and Littlefinger
Guess who got to Kings Landing in record time? Lord Petyr Baelish!

Yes Lancel, I'm a sinner, but you're in my way,
and The Queen Regent awaits.

Cersei has called Petyr to Kings Landing so that he can prove his loyalty to the crown. They chat about the loss of his beloved wife, Lysa,  and how he is a wonderful second father to Lord Robin. Petyr assures her that Robin is under his control, and the Knights of the Vale are ready to fight for the crown. However, he has some news:

1) Sansa Stark is alive and going to marry Lord Bolton's, now legitimate son, Ramsay.
2) Stannis is planning on taking Winterfell, and is marching there with a large army.

 WHAT!! 

Cersei is enraged! She goes on one of her rampages, about how could you trust a traitor, and she'll burn everything to the ground, blah, blah, blah. Petyr assures her that this is not a problem, as can't Kevan or Jaime can handle this? Cersei says that her Uncle Kevan is an idiot, and Jaime is in Dorne, having poorly choreographed fights. Littlefinger tells her that they should wait, and see who takes Winterfell, before taking action. Cersei starts ranting again, and Petyr says that he can take his army and defeat whomever wins the battle. He can take back Winterfell, and the North will belong to her, IF she makes him Warden of the North. Cersei says fine, and she wants Sansa's head on a pike, because that's another one of her favorite sayings. Littlefinger says, "I live to serve", and Cersei is a very happy camper.

That was easy, now I will be Warden of the North.

Let's go from Petyr's victory, to watching Cersei pretend that she's a genius.

Cersei vs. Lady Olenna

I am very busy writing important fake letters,
did you need something?

Cersei is sitting at the King's desk writing letters, and it is laughable watching her try to act like her father. She even keeps Lady Olenna waiting, who is annoyed, and seeing right through Cersei's antics.

Lady Olenna: Cersei, writing fake letters, does not make you King Tywin. Put the pen down, and let's get this over with.

Cersei: Lady Olenna? I didn't hear you arrive! I am very busy writing fake letters and creating more chaos in the world. Did you need something?

Lady Olenna: You know why I'm here, I want my grandson to be released from prison, IMMEDIATELY.  Don't bother feeding me some of your lies, I know that you did this.

Cersei: Are you accusing me of telling the High Sparrow to arrest Loras? He does as he wishes, and I can not control his actions. However,  he has informed me that there will be a fair hearing, and I am certain that Ser Loras will be released.

Lady Olenna: Listen to me carefully Cersei. We supply food to the people, and destroying our relationship will have repercussions. King Tywin, your father, was not my favorite person, but I respected him, and he knew what it means to be in an alliance.

Cersei: I need to keep writing fake letters to be like my father, so your are excused.

The Lady Olenna is not pleased, and believe me messing with her, is not a smart move.

Lady Olenna: 0
Cersei: 1

The Inquest

We have reached the moment when Cersei believes that she has won, and finally rid herself of those pesky Tyrells. Remember, the ones who not only have a larger army, but are very rich, and are the "Bread Basket" of the realm? She truly lives in an alternate reality where she believes that her actions are protecting Tommen. 

The whole crew is there as Ser Loras is brought in, and clearly has not been treated as a high born prisoner. The High Sparrow asks Ser Loras questions about his relationship with Renly and other men.  The High Sparrow brings up how Loras masqueraded as Renly during the Battle of the Blackwater. Loras was getting fired up, but pointed out that he did love his King, but is loyal to King Tommen. Yes, he was part of a ruse that enabled the Lannisters, with the help of the Tyrells, to defeat Stannis. But we all know the High Sparrow doesn't care about the truth, because he only wants to show that he can imprison a highborn knight because he's gay, and a sinner. Ugh. Book Loras is an honorable member of the Kingsguard, and his sexuality had absolutely no bearing on his character. The bottom line in the book was that Cersei wanted him dead because he was a Tyrell, not because he was gay. 

Loras, as with Oberyn, Ned, and Jaime, is part of the "brothers with beloved sisters" club, and Margaery is called to the stand. She is asked the obvious questions regarding Loras and his multitude of sins. She lies, as Loras did, and The High Sparrow says she may return to her seat. He lets them believe they have won, but then Olyvar enters the room.  Loras knows that he is screwed and Lady Olenna gives him an "are you serious?" look, and we are treated to a carefully scripted story of lies.

If you recall, we last saw Olyvar, at the raid of the Brothel.  He saw the members of The Faith kill one of his customers who was caught in bed with another man. Naturally, he made a deal to save his life, and lies in order to imprison Loras. He says that he was the squire to Ser Loras, and tells of how evil Loras seduced him, and took advantage of his poor innocent self. He also recounts the scene in 5.01, when Margaery walked in on them in bed. He also confirms that Loras does have a red birthmark on his leg. The Faith Militant arrest Loras, as Cersei feigns disgust, and states that he can not arrest the heir to the great House of Highgarten. Book Cersei actually skips with glee after Ser Loras volunteers to seize Dragonstone from Stannis. She even starts planning how she will handle his death with Margaery and the people, so her hiding an almost smile, is right on target. 

You can't arrest me, I am THE QUEEN!!

The High Sparrow says he doesn't care, and then arrests Margaery. He states that there is enough to put them to trial, and Olenna gets up in protest. Tommen doesn't allow the Kingsguard to act, which was a smart move. Margaery is dragged away screaming Tommen's name, as Cersei looks at Lady Olenna.  

CHECKMATE.

Actually, you took the words right out of The High Sparrow's mouth. Well Done.

The North

Winterfell
Sansa
Sansa is sitting in her room on her wedding day, when Myranda shows up. I have no idea why this girl keeps hanging around Sansa, and Sansa doesn't even try to get rid of her. Myranda is there to bathe her, and threaten her at the same time. Sansa seems ready to take charge of her situation, and tells Myranda that she's had enough of her crap, and she's not afraid of her.  

You can read about the remainder of this section in my post: The Identity of Sansa Stark.

I'll see you for 5.07.



All images and quotes are owned by HBO, "Game of Thrones" 5.06